(L): Today’s trip was soooo much fun. The scenery was spectacular, but the off-road rally driving was even better. And the eight-seater people carrier made the whole experience even more of an adrenaline packed adventure for all the wrong reasons.
Paul and I drove the 260km gravel track. Having turned horizontal cartwheels off the gravel with the car in New Zealand, I was reasonably cautious. It didn’t quite come to that, although the tires were so bald that I couldn’t help the rear-end slipping away from me on a couple of occasions…
This, however, was only the beginning of the car’s problems. The engine stalled whenever the revs dropped, necessitating high speed or boy-racer revving at the lights (not that there *were* any lights, but you get the idea). The electric windows didn’t work, and neither did the wipers or the squirty water widget. Oh, and the car randomly locked a selection of doors whenever you pressed the ‘lock’ button on the key-fob. Then, when the unlocked doors were opened, the car went into a fit of rage and shouted at us over and over again (in Spanish of course) “INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. ACTIVATE COUNTER SECURITY MEASURES.”, at least, that’s what it sounded like.
At first I wondered if we were in the middle of some Spanish edition of You’ve Been Framed, but alas no Jeremy Beadle arrived to save us, and we had to ‘drive’ the Crappiest Car in the World all the way around the rout [sic].
(G): We are going to leave the Americanos behind when we get home, right…? No more “routs”, “yos”, “yeehas” or “dudes”…? I do hope so.
The Argentinean lake district is beautiful, however, and totally vindicated yesterday’s trip planning coup. The highlight was the Enchanted Valley, which sounds like something out of JRR Tolkien but was happily free of orcs, goblins and trolls and full of gorgeous views, steep cliffs and dramatic bluffs. The car being a useless piece of French crap only added to the excitement and I think everyone was mildly surprised when we actually made it all the way back to San Martín, given the orange and red flashing light show illuminating the dashboard.
We celebrated in classic Brit style with a drinking game session which slightly bemused the Swiss and downright repelled Laurie – until she got the hang of the ‘grenade’ card, then there was no stopping her. And I’m still the only male we’ve played Ring of Fire with who hasn’t had to drink to “I have never…wanked at work”. Maybe there’s something wrong with me…
